I feel like I spent the first half of my working life chasing the success I was taught I should want. Now, in this stage of my life, I’m much more interested in creating a version of success that feels meaningful to me.
I’m noticing the same thing in many of my coaching conversations, and I find myself coming back to one question time and again:
What does success look like for you right now, in this season of your life?
This is deeply personal for me. My life has changed in ways I couldn’t have imagined a decade ago. My daughter is an independent adult. My husband and I have lost three of our four parents. I live in a different city (which definitely wasn’t on my bingo card). The professional networks and client base I’d spent years building have shifted. Some opportunities have disappeared, while others are beginning to emerge. And, if I’m honest, I’ve had moments of wondering what relevance looks like at this stage of my career.
I still want to build my business. I still want wonderful coaching clients. I still want to write, facilitate programs that make a difference and do work that feels worthwhile. None of that has changed. What has changed is that I’m thinking much more carefully about the kind of life I want my success to create.
These reflections don’t come from regret or resignation. They come from recognising that I’m in a different season of life. The definition of success that served me ten or twenty years ago isn’t the one that serves me now.
I’m hearing the same thing in coaching conversations. When I ask clients, “What does success look like in this season of your life?” it often stumps them. Not because they don’t know what success looks like, but because they realise they’ve been following a definition – or a playbook – they haven’t questioned for years.
For much of our lives, success seems fairly obvious. It might mean getting the promotion, buying the house, raising children, building a reputation, earning more money, leading bigger teams or finally taking that overseas holiday you’ve been dreaming about.
None of those things are wrong. Many of them are wonderful. But life has a habit of constantly changing: careers take unexpected turns; relationships change; our children grow and our parents get older; our health may change (or the health of loved ones). Our priorities shift, our energy changes, and sometimes we realise we’re carrying goals that made perfect sense ten years ago but don’t quite fit the person we’ve become.
I see this particularly with women. Many have spent decades proving themselves, caring for others, building careers and carrying enormous responsibilities. Then, often quite quietly, they begin asking questions that don’t have straightforward answers.
- Do I still want this?
- Why doesn't this achievement feel the way I thought it would?
- Is it okay if success looks different now?
I don’t think those questions are a sign that someone has lost their ambition. If anything, I think they’re a sign of growth.
One of the things I’m learning, through coaching and through my own life, is that success isn’t something we define once and then simply pursue forever. It’s something we revisit as our lives change.
For me, right now, I still want a thriving business and to be challenged by clients who inspire me and work that stretches me. And of course financial success still matters. However, I want that success to create a life with time to move my body, to write, space to think, energy for the people I love and work that feels aligned with my values rather than simply keeping me busy and “paid”. Those things aren’t instead of success: they are success.
I think we owe it to ourselves to revisit our definition of success before life forces our hand. Doing it not because we’ve “lost our ambition”, but because we are becoming more intentional about what we’re striving for and why.
What does success mean to you today, in this season of your life?